Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
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The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
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Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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