got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
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He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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