I have demons in me.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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