Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize