she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
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i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
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If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
where are my eyebrows?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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