so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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