the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
did you just send me my own nude
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize