walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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