I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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