I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize