don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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