More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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