How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize