I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize