I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
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She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
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It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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