try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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