I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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