Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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