He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize