And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
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