I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize