is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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