Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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