last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
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His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
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Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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