so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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