I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize