You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize