I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize