I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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