Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize