Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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