i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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