Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
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Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
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I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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