The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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