I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
COCAINE IS GR8
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize