I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
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We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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