I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize