fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
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