i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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