please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize