As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize