I feel like abortions should bother me more
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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