Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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