The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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