Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize