ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You made out with two different species that night
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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