I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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