found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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