I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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