What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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