we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
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So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
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I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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