It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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